Well, things have once again taken a turn. Sheryl Crow's song "Everyday Is a Winding Road" is so true...
The past twenty four hours have been wraught with drama.
Last night Boy B and I were skyping and it just kind of hit me -- this guy is going to be something special in my life. Whether that's as an incredible friend and influence or as a boyfriend. In some way, this guy is going to have a pretty big impact on my life. And I knew that I needed to be honest with K about what was going on. So I texted her to let her know that Boy B had asked me out (they went to high school together and is how we met). Well, K went crazy.
She called me and went on for 30 minutes hysterically about how I was a crazy fool to be interested in him and that he would ruin my life. Well, the concerned friend part only lasted about 10 minutes. The rest was about how this would ruin her life.
When two of your friends decide to pursue each other, there's that natural anxiety that at some point they will break up and you would be caught in the middle of the pain, the drama, etc.
But K took it to a whole 'nother level. Talking about how if we dated and broke up she would have to deal with the mess from both of us, which would distract her from her internship and would put her future in jeopardy.
I just couldn't believe how selfish it all became. That she made it about her when it really had nothing to do with her. And that the only reason I was involving her to let her know what was going on was out of respect for her, because I didn't want her to hear it from him instead of me, and I didn't want it to come out at her Christmas party as he'd planned.
Once I passed out, she apparently called Boy B and they had it out. And I woke up to five messages in my facebook inbox from her -- starting hysterically and ending meekly.
It was just overwhelming all of the drama. It hurt my feelings that she was so selfish about it. I understand her fear, but it's my life. I'm an adult and break ups aren't super traumatic anymore -- it's honest, compassionate, and proper. I was just so surprised that she was doing the exact same thing to me that her friends do to her (which leaves her pinned in and miserable): micromanaging my life.
::sigh::
We talked on facebook chat today and she seemed much calmer about it, and we seemed good. I don't think she supports the idea of Boy B and I dating, but I think she realizes that it's our lives and that all she can do is hope it goes well (which is still pessimistic). All three of us understand where the other two stand, but we're caught on this tightrope of figuring it all out right now.
But yes... Boy B and I are just friends right now. Building the foundation of friendship and seeing where it goes from there. No plans. No plots. Just chill conversation.
I will say, however, that right now, things with him are looking very promising!!
If I can talk to a guy for 6 hours at a time without getting bored... I think that says a lot. Not to mention how respectful he's been of me and my requests so far.
So that was one part of the drama.
Then today, Mom hit me with more drama. Long story short, she called me and asked for Nanny and Papa's phone number. I told her I didn't feel comfortable getting into the middle of that and that I'd given her their number three times before. So she said she'd call information and hung up on me.
About ten minutes later she calls me back and is hysterical. She asks me about a situation that happened 2 years ago. She asks if I remember who called who. Which I didn't. She asks if I remember what she said, which I didn't. At which she lost it -- saying "You have to remember this! So that if a [ ] asks or if the [ ] ask, you have an answer" and proceeded to try and tell me what happened. I stopped her. "Mom, I love you, but I can't lie and say I remember something that I don't. It's not ethical for you to try and convince me that I remember something that I don't." To which she hung up on me.
I feel terrible that I can't remember. But I can't lie for her to villianize my father. I don't like being put in the middle. She claims over and over that she doesn't want to put me in the middle but when I point out that she's crossing the line she blows up. I am so conflicted on what to do. I don't want my mother to be in trouble. But at the same time, she knew she had this bill to deal with and has been running from it instead of working to deal with it. I love her, I want to help her, but to lie?? I just don't think I can do this... ::sigh::
And yes, I'm mad that she's putting me in this position. But what else could she do? I don't know what to do...
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