This is my husband and I's first Christmas together as husband and wife. And when it comes to Christmas, my husband and I couldn't be any more different. Normally I embrace our differences, but our Christmas differences seem to cause a little more friction than normal. :(
I love Christmas. I find such joy in looking for the right gifts, wrapping them, and watching the recipients reactions when they open the gifts. Daniel does not feel this way. It's more like "what can I get away with?" and "how little can I spend?" and "how can I make this the easiest?"
Which may be rooted in the fact that his family is huge. And every piece of it wants to host a gathering.
I love his family. Truly, I do. It has been so wonderful to be surrounded by so many family members -- an experience that I never got growing up. I feel so close to them...
But I am not used to having so many Christmas gatherings. And I had a meltdown about how demanding Christmas is this year. We no longer get to have Christmas Day to ourselves. We no longer get to take our time, spend the day in PJ's, and create our own traditions and memories. And I'm a little bitter about it. And I'm embarassed that I'm bitter. Because I really don't do bitterness (bitterness tears relationships apart!).
It wasn't until this morning that I realized that it wasn't because I don't love his family. It wasn't because I don't enjoy being with them. It wasn't because I don't want to get together with them over Christmas.
It was because in my entire life, I have never lived this close to extended family, and so we never had Christmas like this. We didn't have multiple gatherings throughout the week. We traveled to grandparents when our schedule allowed and exchanged presents only with grandparents and picked up gifts left by aunts/uncles when they were last at grandparents.
So my melt down was because I was so unprepared for the demands of a huge and close family over Christmas. The bitterness isn't as strong when I realize this. They aren't trying to "rob" us of our Christmas. They aren't intentionally trying to disrupt our plans. They are just doing what they've done every year, that I wasn't near enough to experience before this year.
Saturday, December 20, 2014
Tuesday, December 2, 2014
"I haven't accomplished anything," She said.
Yesterday I was having a conversation with my coworker; we were discussing how quickly the year has gone by and how we couldn't believe it was already December and that a new year was just days away. As we were conversing on this topic, my coworker made some points that really made me stop and think....
"I hate this time of year. Because the year is already almost over and I always wonder, 'What did I accomplish?' Nothing. I spend my days living for the weekend and then I spend the weekends accomplishing nothing. I didn't go to any of the places/events I wanted to, I didn't lose any weight, I didn't really learn anything new, I didn't change any habits, I didn't accomplish any of my goals or make the year productive."
Okay... That may not be a completely direct quote, but that is pretty much what was said. And this comment struck me for several reasons.
The first of which, what a terrible attitude! Now this particular coworker is not exactly someone you can rely on for sunshine and rainbows on a cloudy day; and she may take after Eeyore a bit more than she'd like to admit. But even so -- what a terrible attitude! To spend your weeks living for the weekend essentially says that you hate your job, what you do, who you impact. I 100% understand that she dreads her commute (because like me she drives about an hour each way to get to work) and that the commute is wearying. But really -- is there no joy in each day?!
And then I realized that lately I have become guilty of the exact same drive -- of living for the weekends. It's not that I dislike my job, what I do, or who I help every day. It's that I would rather be home with my husband. It's that the lack of teamwork and the poor morale in the office gets to be very tiring. It's that often I feel "jipped" and get stuck doing what others don't want to do. And that attitude is very dangerous!
The second reaction I had to her statement was the truth in the lack of accomplishment of goals. And futhermore, did I even set true goals in January?? Were they goals that instantly created passion and determination? Or were they what could be called perfunctory goals; goals made because it is something that should be accomplished and that I sort of want accomplished but aren't really interested in putting forth the work/effort? Now I won't say that I didn't learn anything; because I did. I won't say I didn't grow as a person and as a Christian, because I did. But I will admit that there is definitely a lack of goal setting, goal achieving, and passion in regards to goals set.
The third reaction I had was what can I do to make each day count more and be more satisfying, more fulfilling, more productive? Immediately my very recent projects that as yet had not been completed popped into my mind. My wedding scrapbook is only 70% completed and I haven't worked on it in probably 2-3 weeks. Daniel's Christmas stocking that hasn't even been started and the Christmas season is already here (and he will be forced to use a dollar store stocking this year). Being more diligent with my daily Bible devotions and finishing each week's homework (that hasn't happened yet!). Making time to spend with my local friends (again; hasn't happened yet except for once!). Yes. Instead of coming home from work and just "plopping on the couch," I should be more regular about working on something!
It all comes down to attitude and intention.
Each day should be appreciated and spent wisely. So that at the end of the year, we aren't left with this nagging feeling of failure or pointlessness.
"I hate this time of year. Because the year is already almost over and I always wonder, 'What did I accomplish?' Nothing. I spend my days living for the weekend and then I spend the weekends accomplishing nothing. I didn't go to any of the places/events I wanted to, I didn't lose any weight, I didn't really learn anything new, I didn't change any habits, I didn't accomplish any of my goals or make the year productive."
Okay... That may not be a completely direct quote, but that is pretty much what was said. And this comment struck me for several reasons.
The first of which, what a terrible attitude! Now this particular coworker is not exactly someone you can rely on for sunshine and rainbows on a cloudy day; and she may take after Eeyore a bit more than she'd like to admit. But even so -- what a terrible attitude! To spend your weeks living for the weekend essentially says that you hate your job, what you do, who you impact. I 100% understand that she dreads her commute (because like me she drives about an hour each way to get to work) and that the commute is wearying. But really -- is there no joy in each day?!
And then I realized that lately I have become guilty of the exact same drive -- of living for the weekends. It's not that I dislike my job, what I do, or who I help every day. It's that I would rather be home with my husband. It's that the lack of teamwork and the poor morale in the office gets to be very tiring. It's that often I feel "jipped" and get stuck doing what others don't want to do. And that attitude is very dangerous!
9 What do workers gain from their toil? 10 I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. 11 He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet[a] no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. 12 I know that there is nothing better for people than to be happy and to do good while they live. 13 That each of them may eat and drink, and find satisfaction in all their toil—this is the gift of God. 14 I know that everything God does will endure forever; nothing can be added to it and nothing taken from it. God does it so that people will fear him.Ecclesiastes 3
Whatever you do, work heartily, as for the Lord and not for menColossians 3:23
The soul of the sluggard craves and gets nothing, while the soul of the diligent is richly supplied.Proverbs 13:4
For even when we were with you, we would give you this command: If anyone is not willing to work, let him not eat. For we hear that some among you walk in idleness, not busy at work, but busybodies. Now such persons we command and encourage in the Lord Jesus Christ to do their work quietly and to earn their own living.2 Thessalonians 3:10-12\
Do all things without grumbling or questioning, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world,Phillipians 2:14-15
The second reaction I had to her statement was the truth in the lack of accomplishment of goals. And futhermore, did I even set true goals in January?? Were they goals that instantly created passion and determination? Or were they what could be called perfunctory goals; goals made because it is something that should be accomplished and that I sort of want accomplished but aren't really interested in putting forth the work/effort? Now I won't say that I didn't learn anything; because I did. I won't say I didn't grow as a person and as a Christian, because I did. But I will admit that there is definitely a lack of goal setting, goal achieving, and passion in regards to goals set.
The third reaction I had was what can I do to make each day count more and be more satisfying, more fulfilling, more productive? Immediately my very recent projects that as yet had not been completed popped into my mind. My wedding scrapbook is only 70% completed and I haven't worked on it in probably 2-3 weeks. Daniel's Christmas stocking that hasn't even been started and the Christmas season is already here (and he will be forced to use a dollar store stocking this year). Being more diligent with my daily Bible devotions and finishing each week's homework (that hasn't happened yet!). Making time to spend with my local friends (again; hasn't happened yet except for once!). Yes. Instead of coming home from work and just "plopping on the couch," I should be more regular about working on something!
It all comes down to attitude and intention.
Each day should be appreciated and spent wisely. So that at the end of the year, we aren't left with this nagging feeling of failure or pointlessness.
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