Christmas Sanity?

This is my husband and I's first Christmas together as husband and wife.  And when it comes to Christmas, my husband and I couldn't be any more different.  Normally I embrace our differences, but our Christmas differences seem to cause a little more friction than normal. :(

I love Christmas. I find such joy in looking for the right gifts, wrapping them, and watching the recipients reactions when they open the gifts.  Daniel does not feel this way.  It's more like "what can I get away with?" and "how little can I spend?" and "how can I make this the easiest?"

Which may be rooted in the fact that his family is huge. And every piece of it wants to host a gathering.

I love his family. Truly, I do. It has been so wonderful to be surrounded by so many family members -- an experience that I never got growing up.  I feel so close to them...

But I am not used to having so many Christmas gatherings.  And I had a meltdown about how demanding Christmas is this year.  We no longer get to have Christmas Day to ourselves.  We no longer get to take our time, spend the day in PJ's, and create our own traditions and memories.  And I'm a little bitter about it.  And I'm embarassed that I'm bitter.  Because I really don't do bitterness (bitterness tears relationships apart!).

It wasn't until this morning that I realized that it wasn't because I don't love his family.  It wasn't because I don't enjoy being with them. It wasn't because I don't want to get together with them over Christmas.

It was because in my entire life, I have never lived this close to extended family, and so we never had Christmas like this.  We didn't have multiple gatherings throughout the week.  We traveled to grandparents when our schedule allowed and exchanged presents only with grandparents and picked up gifts left by aunts/uncles when they were last at grandparents.

So my melt down was because I was so unprepared for the demands of a huge and close family over Christmas.  The bitterness isn't as strong when I realize this.  They aren't trying to "rob" us of our Christmas.  They aren't intentionally trying to disrupt our plans.  They are just doing what they've done every year, that I wasn't near enough to experience before this year.