I forever feel like I am picking up the pieces of my life and trying to put the puzzle together.  I look at so many other young women's lives and see a life that is so much more put together than mine is.   When I compare to my life, which just seems so... Behind.  Women my age have their shit together.  They have cars that at least work.  They have a place of their own.  Their spiritual lives seem so much richer and deeper than mine.  They're better cooks.  They're more organized and less messy.

But me?  I feel like I am perpetually falling apart.  I go through a short period of reprieve and then my house of cards tumbles right back down on me.

I don't even know where to start.

I thought I was on the right track.

I thought things were looking up.  But now?  I don't have a car that works.  I don't have a neat/organized life.  I don't manage my time well.  I don't have the deep, spiritual relationship that I crave (I crave God. I have God, but I crave more of Him, more of his peace, more understanding of his word).  I really am not that good of a cook.  I have not created a home that is put together -- it is a mix-matched jig-saw puzzle that does not match or go, just more chaos.

I just had to face the reality that my own bank won't approve me for a loan without a co-signer because I don't have enough credit history.  So if I want to purchase, I have to roll the dice and hope a dealer can finance me without a co-signer.  And if they don't?  I just dinged my credit from the credit applications for no reason.

I am just so overwhelmed.  Overwhelmed with everything I "should" be doing.