Last night I stepped outside of my comfort zone and went to a painting party hosted by Natalie -- one of the girls in my Deep Water group.  Natalie is from Alaska and married her high school sweetheart after he joined the Marines.  They now live in Havelock, and her hubby (Patrick) is in Arizona for training for the next 6 weeks or so.  So to get her mind off of Patrick's absence, she invited everyone to a painting party (Natalie is a painter, by the way).

And I decided to go.

And I'm so glad that I did!  It was only myself, Janine, Natalie, and Kevin (I was the only non-married person there), but we had fun!!  It was low key and chill, and I felt much more comfortable and able to open up.  I hope they liked me...

Natalie even did some teaching about painting -- and I learned a good deal!  We all did sunsets on the water, but they were all different.  Mine was bright and vibrant and energetic.  Janine's was quiet and calm and romantic.  Natalies was bright and vibrant but peaceful at the same time.  It was fun to learn, and to see how all three of us created such different pieces of art with the same subject.

Being around so many married people... It's... I don't know.  ::sigh::  This is our third straight day of rain, and it's at this point where the blues are beginning to set in.  Where I get lonely and wish there were someone.  Where I wish I had one (just one!) basket to put some eggs into.

I know this is right for me right now.  But that doesn't stem the sting.  That doesn't remove the whisper from the bottom tip of my heart that says I do want it.  That doesn't make me wonder "What's wrong with me that all these people have a mate and I don't?"

Self Pity.  I know.  I'm sorry.  But it's late.  It's been raining for three days.  This is perfect spooning weather...  It's all just kind of collapsing right now.