I Want To Marvel

Yes, I went and saw my movie today -- "Eat, Pray, Love."  I have to say, it was a pretty awesome movie.  But folks and those with a broken heart, if you're looking for understanding, guidance, or someone to identify with, you need to read the book.  The movie does a nice job of following her as she travels and grows, but the wisdom that saturates the book isn't translated in the movie.  I want to read it again so badly.  I read it a year ago when Joey and I broke up (ironically -- it was not done intentionally.  It just happened to be the book I picked up at the store when we were breaking up and I wanted something to escape into.  Turns out God wanted me to escape into my own problems and told me so by having me pick that book up).  It's at my Grandparents' somewhere... Need to go fetch it!!

And yes, I want to marvel at life like I once did.  I've been at the beach for three months (and I'm leaving in two days time) and I have not appreciated it -- I have been closed off to its healing powers.  I want to rediscover the joy and beauty of life like she did in Italy, like Spaghetti chastised her for not doing.  And I think through my "outline"/plan, I will get back to that.  Through re-discovering myself, my hobbies, and new hobbies, I'll get there (I have three new recipes to master for next week!  Chocolate Fondant Cake, Hummus, and Fresh Salsa).

One thing I do marvel at?  The minute I'm not interested in finding a relationship of any level, I am suddenly keenly aware that men are looking at me!  On my way into the theater (I went alone as this book holds special meaning to me -- I wanted to enjoy it on my own), there were two grandparents and their two mid-20s grandsons.  The grandsons literally stopped their conversation with their grandparents (how rude!), turned and checked me out (no complaints on that front), one whistled (slightly embarassing), and one stepped back so that I had to walk in front of him.  Flattering, but really??  Why is it that men seem to sense when women don't want a relationship and that's when we suddenly become oh so hot to them? 

Then again, maybe I'm just noticing the attention I get.  When I'm with a guy, my eyes don't wander.  I don't notice these things.  So maybe it's just that I'm more aware.

And it's nice to be noticed -- especially when you're dressed to go to the gym after the movie and not have a speck of make up on.  Good little confidence boost today!  Haha.

Yes, I can feel myself healing.  Slowly.  But the turtle wins the race.