19 days. That's all God gave me. To meet him, to fall for him, to connect with him, to establish something real with him. 19 days. And then he'll be gone. For 7 months. In a war zone. In a foreign country where English isn't spoken except by his co-workers and the contractors. Where there will be a nine and a half time difference. Where communication will be restricted. No more kisses. No more hugs. No more cuddling. Just me in my bed. No more date nights. No more movie nights on the couch. No more of him cooking me breakfast while I watch and enjoy being cooked for. Just me.
19 days. 7 of which are already gone.
12 days (or something like that).
Am I crazy? Idiotic? That after seven days I'm going to do this.
He makes me feel so comfortable, secure, protected, content, happy, beautiful. I can see a future with him if we can make it through this.
19 days. It's like God is playing a trick on me. Giving me something so wonderful just before he will be taken away. 12 days.
I think I could be certifiably insane.
Hey Blair I know this may sound a bit brash of me but really in truly you should go for it! You are happy, content and comfortable you should do it! I know it is a risk but what if you and Chris break up and he happens to be the one you were looking for? Just let go of your problems and let God!
ReplyDeleteRachel, thank you so much for your kind words and encouragement. :) I am going for it, but after all the negative experiences I've had not just with men but military (the curse of living in military land -- I promise I don't have a fetish lol), I am nervous about it.
ReplyDeleteI know my friends (who have been through all my negative experiences with me) will think I'm a crazy fool, and I'm tired of feeling that way. I know you should live your life how YOU want to, and not base it on other peoples reactions, but these people are going to be my support system when he's gone. So it's a very delicate situation...
But you're right. I should stop worrying, go with the flow, enjoy my time with him while I can, and give it to God to lead me through. Thank you again for your support and encouragement. It means so very much to me...
I'm with Rachel. Let go, and let God.
ReplyDelete