Good Things Come to Those Who Wait

Patience is a virtue that we are all supposed to strive to embody.  However, it's not just one of those virtues that you can claim to have and by virtue of claim actually have it.  Moving to New Bern was something done with a skeleton of a plan, but mostly just on a whim.  I knew I was moving here early to get settled, but I never imagined the twists and turns I would encounter as a result of moving here.

I've faced some of the most lonely times of my life here, depressive tendencies, anxiety attacks, feeling stuck/trapped because I couldn't change anything, feeling a failure, feeling as if I have been disappointing my family, feeling as if I've been a money pit and a spoiled brat, boredom, financial strain, credit score crisis, inability to go visit friends, fear that this whim was a waste of time/money/prayer.  I've dealt with rude neighbors, rude townspeople, rude clients, rude customers.  I've had a huge reality check about everything -- money, jobs, passion for what I want as a real job, what's necessary versus what's fluff.  I have simplified and simplified and simplified again.  To try and get as close to the bare bones as I could -- because I wanted to.  Because I wanted to appreciate every little thing.  Because I didn't want to be drowning in stuff.  I re-discovered my faith and relationship with God and Jesus Christ.  I found what I hope is l-o-v-e.  I have discovered that I am a very patient, calm, hard to ruffle person and those qualities have been emboldened though the jobs I hold to get me through.  I have discovered a love and passion for peace, serenity, and easy comfort.  I have re-discovered my love of reading out doors, and for running through nice neighborhoods.  I have re-discovered my taste for health, vitality, and wellness.

My trials are not over.  They will never be over.  That is a part of this world -- the stress, chaos, the one-thing-after-another.

And right now, I am teetering between another anxiety attack and excitement.

My Mother has asked to stay with me for about a month.  This is the cause for the potential anxiety attack.  Mom and I do not have a good relationship or a good history.  However, she is literally being kicked out to the streets and has no where to go.  So I offered her one month of shelter.  No extensions.  She will have 30 days to figure her life out with a few less worries.  I want to help her, but I also don't want to feel responsible for a 50 year old woman.  I also don't want to feel guilted into helping her, or stuck with her.  But she has an understanding that it is for one month and one month only, that she will not be sleeping in my bed, and that she will be responsible for her own food and contributing to utilities.  So this has brought me some relief, and I will just have to stand firm.  She needs a reality check.  And unfortunately I'm going to have to give it to her.

But the excitement... An altogether different situation.  I received my summer class schedule for the PTA program, and I am so excited and ready to begin!  Getting a schedule makes it feel like it's really going to happen!  That I'm not going to be left high/dry.  That this is going to work out.  And I'm hoping that the saying "good things come to those who wait" will apply here as well.  That my patience will persevere and this one thing in my life will work out okay.  Despite the major bumps and snafoos (which makes it just like everything else in my life). 



So please, continue praying for me.  Pray that this month with Mom will turn out okay.  Pray that the PTA program will begin sooooon.  Pray that Chris comes home soon and safe and well.  Pray that my family gets back on track.  Pray that we will all get what is promised -- eternal life through Him.  :)