"So how would you feel about me going to The Sandbox?" is not the way to bring a conversation to a quick close when you've said multiple times "I really need to get to bed."
Just mentioning the possibility of going to the sandbox (i.e.--Afghanistan as a civilian contractor) had me in tears. Yes, I understand the money is good. And therefore I understand why it appeals to him -- he feels he can get his life back on track financially and will be able to afford and put down a huge down payment on a house. I get it. And mentioning that 'certain events that start with a W are expensive' and 'this way I could easily get a certain piece of jewelry' does not sweeten the deal for me.
But while he sees dollar signs, I see 12 months of him not being here. I see his hermit tendencies taking over and the contact becoming less and less. I see a year of growing as individuals, but will we grow together as a couple?
Then you get worst case scenario fears.... You think about the stories your friends have told you about being over there: the rampant cheating on loved ones (one story even included a girl getting pregnant by a guy whose wife was on the same F.O.B.!), the PTSD, the 'ghosting' of the military on their girlfriends at home.
I believe there is something very honorable about serving your country, about sacrificing time out of your life for something bigger than yourself. I'm very proud to say that I'm with a man who has already done that; serving for one tour of Iraq in the height of its activity. I'm very proud to say that although he is not an active Marine, he was and will forever be a Marine. And the fact that he isn't active anymore was very appealing to me -- we could have a relationship without fear of him deploying or fear of him getting sent to another base. He was out of the military, establishing himself as a civilian in mentality and in the workforce.
And now he's reverting back to considering voluntarily going to the Middle East. For a year.
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