The Sandbox Strikes Again

Last night, Daniel and I were talking and the Sandbox came up again (although admittedly, I was the one that inadvertently brought it up).  It was said in passing, but turned into a whole conversation.

"And that scares the hell out of you," he observed.

I sighed.  And I explained to him that my concerns were not so much of the physical harm (I have confidence that this wouldn't be the biggest issue as he'd be working logistics instead of the frontline or a combat role), but rather of the emotional and relationship harm.  I explained to him that he has hermit tendencies and that my fear is that it would end up with a ghosting situation.  I explained to him that I've been in that situation before and I don't ever want to be there again.

"I'm not saying I would do that, and I'm not saying I wouldn't do that," was the essence of his response.  And my heart sighed -- when presented with an opportunity to comfort and reassure me, he didn't.  Which leads me to think that ghosting would be a very real possibility if he were to go.

He reminded me that this is a last resort option, and I said "You might say that, but this has come up several times since we've started dating.  And that leads me to believe that this isn't as remote of an idea as you're trying to make it out to be.  That it's a very real option for you and that it's actually something you want to do."  His response? "Yeah..."

I'm getting more and more frustrated with the situation.  I'm beginning to wonder if this option is appealing to him not only for the money, but for "getting away" -- escaping from his over-bearing mother, the job he hates. Is he also wanting to escape from me, from our relationship?  Is the relationship becoming too serious and he doesn't know how to handle it?

I'm beginning to believe that our "Valentines Celebration" weekend will not be all rainbows and unicorns -- but instead will consist of some serious conversation.  But then again, if he's not actively pursuing it, perhaps I should just let it lie...  Yeah... I should just let it lie and pray it doesn't happen. (Yeah, right.  It's probably gonna happen).  But y'all know me -- I have to confront a situation.  It's both my best and worst attribute.  Perhaps I should seek counsel from one (or two) of my military girls....