It's those minutes before sunrise, where the world is dark and shadowed except a thin faint line on the horizon, where black is fading into light. There are only a few birds chirping, and the rest of the world is sleeping. The world feels so still... Not a breeze to be felt and not a cloud in the sky. You look up and can see the thousands of sparkling diamonds and just stare in awe at the mere scale of the window into the universe you have.
Those moments are the quietest ones of the day. Where the husband sleeps, but for this short period of his REM cycle isn't snoring, lying curled up in the comforter and sprawled out across the bed (taking advantage of the extra space you left when you slunk out of bed so as to not wake him). The TV is off, an empty and un-enticing vacuum.
Peace and comfort reign in these moments, where God is creating a masterpiece in the sky and the still world watches in awe to greet another day. Prayers float up -- of guidance and direction, peace and security, concern over loved ones and strangers alike -- and God weaves the lyrical heart messages into his painting. The sky continues to lighten, with new shades of colors, highlights and lowlights, reflecting off a low lying rippled cloud off in the distance.
Lavender.
Navy Blue.
Pink.
There's even a line of grey where the colors muddle together.
Maybe that grey is where God puts the prayers of worry... The Lavender where he puts the prayers of encouragement. The pink the prayers of love over others and the prayers of thanksgiving. The coming billiant sun where he puts the prayers of guidance.
The night fades and the day creeps in, another gift from God beginning with his sunrise.
Sunday, October 26, 2014
Sunday, October 19, 2014
Yesterday, Daniel and I were blessed to be able to attend a wedding between my "Little" from college and the love of her life, Anthony. It was an absolutely beautiful wedding, complete with horse drawn carriage, hay bale seating, italian dinner buffet, and christmas lights in the trees. The two of them were adorable -- the groom couldn't stop crying from happiness and the bride couldn't stop smiling.
Be still my heart!
And it was fabulous for Daniel and I to be there not just in support of them as they begin their lives together, but also for us! It was romantic, reminded us just how precious this time together is, and how in love we are. That was an unintended gift to us that was pure magic.
Be still my heart!
And it was fabulous for Daniel and I to be there not just in support of them as they begin their lives together, but also for us! It was romantic, reminded us just how precious this time together is, and how in love we are. That was an unintended gift to us that was pure magic.
Sunday, October 12, 2014
Just yesterday I blogged about how irritable and negative I have been... And after blogging about my attitude, I decided to do something about it. What did I do for my newlywed irritability?
1. I checked my attitude. I just told myself it had to stop. That I was being childish, and that I was not contributing anything positive to my marriage with such an attitude.
2. I prayed about it. I asked God for help to clean and correct my heart.
3. I engaged with my husband. I told him about my attitude, and he was amazing and spent a little extra time cuddling, hugging, kissing, loving, and encouraging me. Just having that physical contact with my husband was a huge help to my attitude. And being open with him was a huge weight off my shoulders.
4. My husband and I did our first devotional. And it was amazing. There was a short scripture, a short lesson, then a discussion question followed by a prayer topic. Having that conversation and interaction with my husband was so intimate. Him revealing his weaknesses, me revealing mine, and then praying together over each other... Wow! Talk about powerful! It was the connection I had been longing for and missing and didn't even realize it...
1. I checked my attitude. I just told myself it had to stop. That I was being childish, and that I was not contributing anything positive to my marriage with such an attitude.
2. I prayed about it. I asked God for help to clean and correct my heart.
3. I engaged with my husband. I told him about my attitude, and he was amazing and spent a little extra time cuddling, hugging, kissing, loving, and encouraging me. Just having that physical contact with my husband was a huge help to my attitude. And being open with him was a huge weight off my shoulders.
4. My husband and I did our first devotional. And it was amazing. There was a short scripture, a short lesson, then a discussion question followed by a prayer topic. Having that conversation and interaction with my husband was so intimate. Him revealing his weaknesses, me revealing mine, and then praying together over each other... Wow! Talk about powerful! It was the connection I had been longing for and missing and didn't even realize it...
Saturday, October 11, 2014
Newlywed Irritability
Today is Daniels and my 2 week anniversary of marriage. LOL. Silly, but true. Two weeks!
On one hand, I feel like time has flown by and we haven't gotten nearly as many things done as I thought we would (getting settled, organized) and that the time has gone by very quickly and it's all still very "unreal." But on the other hand, I feel very comfortable with living with him and setting up "our home."
So adjusting to being a married couple is at once both easy and maddening.
And the confliction of emotions is really wearing on me. I am irritable over EVERYTHING for NO REASON. I simultaneously am okay with him playing on his computer on the other couch (allowing me to have my own time and space) but also annoyed that he's on his computer on the other couch (not engaged with me or with our life or real life at all). So I begin sending him the side eye, ESP messages to him, and then sighs, shakes of the head, huffing/puffing, and stomping around.
Bless his heart... He really is trying... He's done more cleaning and pitching in than he's ever done in his bachelor life.
I'm not mad that he's "not trying" or that he "isn't enough." I'm just irritable. Period. For no reason. About everything.
And I really hate it.
I know that it's a personal problem that I have. So I'm digging my heels in to try and adjust my attitude. Starting with letting things go. Reminding myself that he isn't ignoring me, and that he is trying, and that I really do like having my own space. Showing him gratitude/appreciation. And most importantly, bumping up our spiritual time -- increasing prayers, and initiating a couples daily devotion.
Because I want to have those healthy habits in my marriage. And because I want my marriage to be a good one and a happy one.
On one hand, I feel like time has flown by and we haven't gotten nearly as many things done as I thought we would (getting settled, organized) and that the time has gone by very quickly and it's all still very "unreal." But on the other hand, I feel very comfortable with living with him and setting up "our home."
So adjusting to being a married couple is at once both easy and maddening.
And the confliction of emotions is really wearing on me. I am irritable over EVERYTHING for NO REASON. I simultaneously am okay with him playing on his computer on the other couch (allowing me to have my own time and space) but also annoyed that he's on his computer on the other couch (not engaged with me or with our life or real life at all). So I begin sending him the side eye, ESP messages to him, and then sighs, shakes of the head, huffing/puffing, and stomping around.
Bless his heart... He really is trying... He's done more cleaning and pitching in than he's ever done in his bachelor life.
I'm not mad that he's "not trying" or that he "isn't enough." I'm just irritable. Period. For no reason. About everything.
And I really hate it.
I know that it's a personal problem that I have. So I'm digging my heels in to try and adjust my attitude. Starting with letting things go. Reminding myself that he isn't ignoring me, and that he is trying, and that I really do like having my own space. Showing him gratitude/appreciation. And most importantly, bumping up our spiritual time -- increasing prayers, and initiating a couples daily devotion.
Because I want to have those healthy habits in my marriage. And because I want my marriage to be a good one and a happy one.
Sunday, October 5, 2014
Back to Reality as a new Wife
Well, I have been married for 8 days now!! :)
Dad and I during the father/daughter dance
I love this picture of my husband :) <3 nbsp="" p="">
We enjoyed a wonderful 4 day honeymoon to Washington DC that was romantic, stressful, challenging, and happy all at the same time. It was a great start to our marriage! :)
Upon returning home, we've been hard at work every day working on getting things organized, settled, and in better order. Our little bungalow has been in pure chaos with boxes and bags and no direction, so we've made a good dent in the work that needed to occur.
Today is the last day of our honeymoon from work, and we both return to "the grind" in the morning. It will be a huge adjustment with the commute, but I'm partially looking forward to getting back into a routine. My love and I have already come up with a workout plan/routine to suit our long days, and we've both made a commitment to working on eating healthier (which has met with mixed success already lol).
We enjoyed a wonderful 4 day honeymoon to Washington DC that was romantic, stressful, challenging, and happy all at the same time. It was a great start to our marriage! :)
He was an excellent navigator
In the Capitol's summer house
In the US Botanic Gardens
At Arlington National Cemetery
The Capitol
Goofing off at Mt Vernon
Upon returning home, we've been hard at work every day working on getting things organized, settled, and in better order. Our little bungalow has been in pure chaos with boxes and bags and no direction, so we've made a good dent in the work that needed to occur.
Today is the last day of our honeymoon from work, and we both return to "the grind" in the morning. It will be a huge adjustment with the commute, but I'm partially looking forward to getting back into a routine. My love and I have already come up with a workout plan/routine to suit our long days, and we've both made a commitment to working on eating healthier (which has met with mixed success already lol).
Sunday, September 14, 2014
10 more sleeps
Sunday night, and there's finally a hint of fall in the air. Only a hint... Just enough to tease us that cooler and less humid weather is coming. I just pray that it's sooner rather than later! I am so over the Eastern North Carolina summer weather... I just couldn't handle it this year. I didn't even get to the beach except maybe twice!!
Pretty much sums up how I feel
And it's a very bitter sweet Sunday. Daniel just left about an hour ago, and as he was packing up to leave, he noted that this was the last time he'll stay in this house. He pointed out that there are only 10 more nights for me in this house (we're taking a mini get away next weekend). And that in less than 2 weeks, we'll be husband and wife.
Talk about reducing a girl into tears.
The loss of independence.
The loss of a bed of my own.
Moving away from a home I love with a roommate/landlady that I love.
Moving away from a town that I have grown to absolutely adore.
Leaving one job that has been nothing but a blessing to me by employer, coworker, and clientele.
Leaving behind a church that has literally saved me and means so very much to me.
I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't help but burst into tears with all of these realizations overwhelming me. Poor Daniel didn't know what to do, but he did exactly what I needed -- he just held me and let me cry.
I am so very excited to become Daniels wife. I am ecstatic that he will become my husband. And I am looking forward to the adventure that our lives are about to embark upon.
But it is a serious life change. And as we moved all of my furniture out of "my room" and either into a garbage pile in the garage or into a keep pile in the garage, and my room was slowly but steadily emptied of everything that made it mine, the gravity of what was happening hit me.
I'm now staying in one of the guest rooms to bide my time before my nuptials, allowing me to do touch up paint and cleaning to my old room, and allowing Chrissy to begin moving her craft items and music items upstairs. Erasing "my room" and creating the "hobby room."
They say that marriage is all about sacrifice. And I firmly believe (and am experiencing) that the sacrifice begins before you actually say "I do." It begins as you sort through items and give things up that have faithfully followed you from college dorm to college apartment to trade school apartment/trailer to career girl rented room. It begins as you acknowledge that nothing in life will ever be the same again -- that although it is for the good, it is also for the different.
Tears came so quickly and so frequently this weekend...
Tomorrow begins my last full work week before my wedding. 5 work days this week. 3 work days next week. Wedding that Saturday. Holy. Freaking. Cow.
Pretty much sums up how I feel
And it's a very bitter sweet Sunday. Daniel just left about an hour ago, and as he was packing up to leave, he noted that this was the last time he'll stay in this house. He pointed out that there are only 10 more nights for me in this house (we're taking a mini get away next weekend). And that in less than 2 weeks, we'll be husband and wife.
Talk about reducing a girl into tears.
The loss of independence.
The loss of a bed of my own.
Moving away from a home I love with a roommate/landlady that I love.
Moving away from a town that I have grown to absolutely adore.
Leaving one job that has been nothing but a blessing to me by employer, coworker, and clientele.
Leaving behind a church that has literally saved me and means so very much to me.
I was an absolute wreck. I couldn't help but burst into tears with all of these realizations overwhelming me. Poor Daniel didn't know what to do, but he did exactly what I needed -- he just held me and let me cry.
I am so very excited to become Daniels wife. I am ecstatic that he will become my husband. And I am looking forward to the adventure that our lives are about to embark upon.
But it is a serious life change. And as we moved all of my furniture out of "my room" and either into a garbage pile in the garage or into a keep pile in the garage, and my room was slowly but steadily emptied of everything that made it mine, the gravity of what was happening hit me.
I'm now staying in one of the guest rooms to bide my time before my nuptials, allowing me to do touch up paint and cleaning to my old room, and allowing Chrissy to begin moving her craft items and music items upstairs. Erasing "my room" and creating the "hobby room."
They say that marriage is all about sacrifice. And I firmly believe (and am experiencing) that the sacrifice begins before you actually say "I do." It begins as you sort through items and give things up that have faithfully followed you from college dorm to college apartment to trade school apartment/trailer to career girl rented room. It begins as you acknowledge that nothing in life will ever be the same again -- that although it is for the good, it is also for the different.
Tears came so quickly and so frequently this weekend...
Tomorrow begins my last full work week before my wedding. 5 work days this week. 3 work days next week. Wedding that Saturday. Holy. Freaking. Cow.
Thursday, September 4, 2014
A Reminder of the Words "Thank You"
It's so easy to become bitter about serving others. About being disappointed that they did not appreciate the hard work you put in, the time you spent, the thought you applied towards serving someone. That they didn't provide a big enough reaction (or sometimes you didn't even get a reaction at all, no acknowledgement, and not even a thank you via text). Sooooo easy to be caught up in this.
Serving and giving to others of your time and talents is what we are supposed to do. (Romans 12:5-8) (Matthew 25:14-30) (Luke 6:38) Just as we are not supposed to become riled up and angry (Ephesians 4:31).
But good LORD I had to really restrain myself tonight from reacting! I went out of my way to surprise someone with a thoughtful handmade gift, and one week later still hadn't heard from them that they'd at least received it. I called them and asked if they'd received it. Their response? "Oh yeah."
Oh yeah!!!! That's it?!?!?! I literally spent an hour arranging this and creating this and left the house early one morning so I could send it. And one week later, I still hadn't heard a peep.
I like being nice. I like doing things for others. I like surprising them and doing things that are tailored for the individual. I don't do these acts for the "reward" of appreciation, but it's almost a slap in the face when I don't even get a text to say thank you.
What is WRONG with my generation?! We need to learn some humility, gratitude, and appreciation for others.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
Serving and giving to others of your time and talents is what we are supposed to do. (Romans 12:5-8) (Matthew 25:14-30) (Luke 6:38) Just as we are not supposed to become riled up and angry (Ephesians 4:31).
But good LORD I had to really restrain myself tonight from reacting! I went out of my way to surprise someone with a thoughtful handmade gift, and one week later still hadn't heard from them that they'd at least received it. I called them and asked if they'd received it. Their response? "Oh yeah."
Oh yeah!!!! That's it?!?!?! I literally spent an hour arranging this and creating this and left the house early one morning so I could send it. And one week later, I still hadn't heard a peep.
I like being nice. I like doing things for others. I like surprising them and doing things that are tailored for the individual. I don't do these acts for the "reward" of appreciation, but it's almost a slap in the face when I don't even get a text to say thank you.
What is WRONG with my generation?! We need to learn some humility, gratitude, and appreciation for others.
Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you (1 Thessalonians 5:18)
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