So can I just say that house hunting is over rated? We've been looking for about two months now, which is not abnormal of a time period, but we are just getting to the point where we feel like we don't know anything anymore.
Our list of wants in house are: 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a fireplace, a garage or outbuilding for Daniel's motorcycle, a dining room that will accommodate our existing dining room furniture, outdoor living area (deck or front porch), not on a main road/neighborhood feel, and charm.
I had no idea that such basic requirements would prove to be so difficult to find.
And I definitely had no idea just how expensive it gets so quickly. We've gotten to the point where we've decided we just can't live in the city limits. Taxes are just too high which makes our budget even smaller. And properties outside of the city limits that are not on main/busy roads that are in our price range are very few and far between.
We found a beautiful, perfect home. But it was 20k above our original budget, and although we were pre-approved from the bank for that amount, there was no way we would be able to make it work and maintain financial security. No way. You want to talk about heart breaking having to walk away from the perfect house...
Are our standards too high?
Are we not meant to own a home?
Are we being too picky?
I feel so bad for our realtor... I hope and pray that he isn't getting exacerbated with us and knows that we aren't trying to jerk him around. He knows we're first time home owners, so he's probably used to it. But I still feel bad.
I am so grateful for where we live now. But it is not ours. We're so ready to have a place that's ours.
Prayers over our hunt would be greatly appreciated...
Friday, May 8, 2015
Thursday, April 9, 2015
Rare Day Off
There is something about a mindless day off... I don't get these very often. Most of the time, my days off (comp days for working weekends) are filled with errands to places that only have 9-5pm business hours and I can't take care of since I work an hour away from where I live. But today was a rare mindless day off. I got to sleep in, enjoy a morning movie (thank you John Cena), wander around Michaels and the Dollar Store (without Daniel asking if I was done yet lol), and I even got to go look at some houses with our realtor!
Our house hunt continues, as the house we previously put in a bid on (it was a foreclosure) was out bid. I was sad for a little bit, but I felt very much at peace with losing that house. As soon as I heard we were outbid (we had time to increase our bid if we'd wanted to), I knew that wasn't the house for us. So it felt really good today to get back out house hunting, and it felt really encouraging to find not just one but three homes that would be good fits for us. So hopefully Daniel will be able to go see them Saturday and we can move forward.
And in the mean time, I continue to search for fun baby shower ideas for the shower I'm planning for June. I had no idea that planning a baby shower could be so much fun! :)
But for now, I get to enjoy some rare couch time and hope that I can convince Daniel into going for a burger for dinner :)
Our house hunt continues, as the house we previously put in a bid on (it was a foreclosure) was out bid. I was sad for a little bit, but I felt very much at peace with losing that house. As soon as I heard we were outbid (we had time to increase our bid if we'd wanted to), I knew that wasn't the house for us. So it felt really good today to get back out house hunting, and it felt really encouraging to find not just one but three homes that would be good fits for us. So hopefully Daniel will be able to go see them Saturday and we can move forward.
And in the mean time, I continue to search for fun baby shower ideas for the shower I'm planning for June. I had no idea that planning a baby shower could be so much fun! :)
But for now, I get to enjoy some rare couch time and hope that I can convince Daniel into going for a burger for dinner :)
Tuesday, March 24, 2015
New Financial Focus
You know what feels really good? Having one of our frequent budget meetings (we don't quite follow Dave Ramsey's suggestion to have one every month, but we have a budget meeting about every three months it seems) and being able to shift our financial focus.
Our first focus was two fold: paying down our credit card debt while building up 3 months of expenses in savings. Daniel's is officially paid off and mine is at it's lowest balance since my junior year of undergraduate college. That feels REALLY good! It isn't totally paid off, but it will be in the next four months! :) :) :) :) :) Annnnd we got our three months of expenses in savings (albeit this doesn't include a rent/mortgage payment because we don't have that expense right now).
Our second focus was to start saving for retirement. This entailed many financial planning meetings (we went to a professional for this one!), lots of discussion, lots of reading on my part (I was woefully uneducated about investments and life insurance), and realigning our budget. This was the first "big money bill" as a married couple that we had to add to our budget. This took quite a bit of adjustment, particularly on my part! But we finally figured this out and have settled into a routine where this "bill" no longer scares us nor do we freak out about making sure our bank account can accommodate this bill, because we know we have the money in the bank.
So now it was time to shift our focus for a third time in seven months of marriage (man we've made some great financial progress already!). Time to start getting used to having a mortgage payment. We don't own a home yet, but we felt it was a good idea to get used to having an even BIGGER bill that we'd have to pay every month. And until we own a home, this money just goes straight into savings. So we're seriously boosting our savings account while getting accustomed to an over-inflated mortgage payment (we chose to pay more than what we expect to actually pay for a mortgage so that the actual mortgage is less frightening and easier for us to meet emotionally). I'm pretty stoked about this! We'll build up three months of mortgage emergency fund money, and then we'll begin saving up for any necessary home renovation projects for whatever home we end up buying.
It felt really good to sit down with our budget and be able to make our money work for us, to be able to shift our financial focus once again. It feels good to know that we CAN handle a mortgage while living comfortably (albeit with a budget that has zero room for errors). It feels good to be in control of our money instead of our money ruling us. And it definitely feels good to know that my husband and I are on the same page with the same plan of action!
Budgeting works folks. Get on the same page with your partner. Talk about it. Set goals. Work your ass off. And meet your goals! Because YOU CAN!
Our first focus was two fold: paying down our credit card debt while building up 3 months of expenses in savings. Daniel's is officially paid off and mine is at it's lowest balance since my junior year of undergraduate college. That feels REALLY good! It isn't totally paid off, but it will be in the next four months! :) :) :) :) :) Annnnd we got our three months of expenses in savings (albeit this doesn't include a rent/mortgage payment because we don't have that expense right now).
Our second focus was to start saving for retirement. This entailed many financial planning meetings (we went to a professional for this one!), lots of discussion, lots of reading on my part (I was woefully uneducated about investments and life insurance), and realigning our budget. This was the first "big money bill" as a married couple that we had to add to our budget. This took quite a bit of adjustment, particularly on my part! But we finally figured this out and have settled into a routine where this "bill" no longer scares us nor do we freak out about making sure our bank account can accommodate this bill, because we know we have the money in the bank.
So now it was time to shift our focus for a third time in seven months of marriage (man we've made some great financial progress already!). Time to start getting used to having a mortgage payment. We don't own a home yet, but we felt it was a good idea to get used to having an even BIGGER bill that we'd have to pay every month. And until we own a home, this money just goes straight into savings. So we're seriously boosting our savings account while getting accustomed to an over-inflated mortgage payment (we chose to pay more than what we expect to actually pay for a mortgage so that the actual mortgage is less frightening and easier for us to meet emotionally). I'm pretty stoked about this! We'll build up three months of mortgage emergency fund money, and then we'll begin saving up for any necessary home renovation projects for whatever home we end up buying.
It felt really good to sit down with our budget and be able to make our money work for us, to be able to shift our financial focus once again. It feels good to know that we CAN handle a mortgage while living comfortably (albeit with a budget that has zero room for errors). It feels good to be in control of our money instead of our money ruling us. And it definitely feels good to know that my husband and I are on the same page with the same plan of action!
Budgeting works folks. Get on the same page with your partner. Talk about it. Set goals. Work your ass off. And meet your goals! Because YOU CAN!
Sunday, March 22, 2015
Am I a Conservative or a Feminist??
Daniel and I are beginning the process of finding our first home, and we are so far enjoying the process. There has been, of course, quite a bit of information, contracts, and legal jargon to digest. And in some cases sign.
I am all for the Biblical definition of marriage -- where the man is the head of the house and leads his wife and family. LOVE it. I understand its importance and that this traditional/Biblical view still influences business, society, and culture today (granted maybe not as much as it should in some instances).
But ever since I've gotten married, I have discovered that my signature (and thus my value as a member of the partnership) is "less than." I am either signing second on everything or not signing at all. And this is really bothering me.
It's bothering me that my husband is deemed more valuable than I by business. It is bothering me that he has more say and more respect than I do.
Why do I always have to sign second?
Why am I relegated to cooking all the meals, grocery shopping every week, and cleaning the house while my husband's only responsibilities are taking out the trash (which he has to be reminded to do; and even then he ignored the giant pile of boxes on his week long vacation) and fixing things (that light bulb is still waiting after three weeks)?
I am struggling to accept the Biblical definition of gender roles in this case. I am struggling to accept my "place" as a wife -- as second. And when I expressed these issues to Daniel, he responded by saying "I think you are more important than keeping the kitchen clean, the dinners cooked, and the bedroom clean." Wow... Really?????? That's the automatic role that you put me in? Of course it is. He had a week of vacation and cleaned the dishes once, never cooked dinner, never made the bed, never vacuumed, and didn't even bother to go grocery shopping (in fact complained that he didn't have any food to eat).
How to I reconcile my Biblical beliefs with my frustrations of being "boxed in" and feeling limited?
Sunday, March 15, 2015
Decisions and Opinions -- How does a Silent One Respond?
It's been a while since I had the time, motivation, or quiet to sit down and journal/blog... There are so many spinning parts in our lives right now, so many "things" that we're waiting on or trying to get going that we are still at a bit of a stand still. We're still going through the job hunt (both of us, actually). One of us is making some progress in moving forward in their career (hint, it's not me); one of us is still waiting for the job market to relax enough for positions to become available (hint, it's me).
I am still very much struggling with what to do with my career. Do I return to school and get my doctorate? Do I take that risk/jump and cut our income? What if when I graduate I find myself in the exact same position I'm in now -- qualified but without any job openings? I will fully admit that I am paralyzed with fear on this topic. I don't want to make the wrong choice. And both choices (Stay a PTA or Become a PT) have valid and very strong pros/cons. Neither option out weigh the other.
This is a personality trait that I've noticed I'm developing -- indecisiveness. I used to be so sure of what I wanted to do and I could make decisions lickety split. I had no problem with that. But as I've grown up (I refuse to say "gotten older" or "aged" to even my patients, let alone to myself), I've become more middle ground. More, "Let me take some time and think about this." More, "I need more information." More, "I need a sign saying that this is the way to go."
Through my various high school and college jobs, I was conditioned through my mistakes not to make bold statements or to be outspoken. It was always looked down on -- they wanted someone who would come in, do their job, not make a fuss or rock the boat, be productive, be flexible, and then go home. And in an effort to become a better employee with less stress on myself (from the "trouble" and the judgments), I have become that employee. But it's also spilled over into my personal life. I am the quiet wife who is (admittedly) trying to find nice ways to ask for help, but who always declines the offer of help. I am the wife who takes on the management of the home (i.e, budgets, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking) because (1) it's what I'm "supposed to do" (2) it's just easier if I do it (3) Daniel's very much okay with a messy home. I come home, do my job, try not to rock the boat, and go to bed. So my annoyance gets bottled up and disposed of when I workout.
Daniel is wonderful and supportive of whichever decision I make. But he's also smart enough to not make the decision for me -- despite how much I would like him to. So the responsibility returns to my shoulders.
How often I wish I didn't have to make decisions...
The pressure is heavy on my shoulders...
My conditioning to not have an opinion and to be quiet is stifling me. I can see that now. Granted, that doesn't mean I need to become bold and brazen. But I need to establish what my opinions are, and I need to stand for them. So by the flip side of the coin, that suggests I need to do some soul searching on me.
I am still very much struggling with what to do with my career. Do I return to school and get my doctorate? Do I take that risk/jump and cut our income? What if when I graduate I find myself in the exact same position I'm in now -- qualified but without any job openings? I will fully admit that I am paralyzed with fear on this topic. I don't want to make the wrong choice. And both choices (Stay a PTA or Become a PT) have valid and very strong pros/cons. Neither option out weigh the other.
This is a personality trait that I've noticed I'm developing -- indecisiveness. I used to be so sure of what I wanted to do and I could make decisions lickety split. I had no problem with that. But as I've grown up (I refuse to say "gotten older" or "aged" to even my patients, let alone to myself), I've become more middle ground. More, "Let me take some time and think about this." More, "I need more information." More, "I need a sign saying that this is the way to go."
Through my various high school and college jobs, I was conditioned through my mistakes not to make bold statements or to be outspoken. It was always looked down on -- they wanted someone who would come in, do their job, not make a fuss or rock the boat, be productive, be flexible, and then go home. And in an effort to become a better employee with less stress on myself (from the "trouble" and the judgments), I have become that employee. But it's also spilled over into my personal life. I am the quiet wife who is (admittedly) trying to find nice ways to ask for help, but who always declines the offer of help. I am the wife who takes on the management of the home (i.e, budgets, cleaning, grocery shopping, cooking) because (1) it's what I'm "supposed to do" (2) it's just easier if I do it (3) Daniel's very much okay with a messy home. I come home, do my job, try not to rock the boat, and go to bed. So my annoyance gets bottled up and disposed of when I workout.
Daniel is wonderful and supportive of whichever decision I make. But he's also smart enough to not make the decision for me -- despite how much I would like him to. So the responsibility returns to my shoulders.
How often I wish I didn't have to make decisions...
The pressure is heavy on my shoulders...
My conditioning to not have an opinion and to be quiet is stifling me. I can see that now. Granted, that doesn't mean I need to become bold and brazen. But I need to establish what my opinions are, and I need to stand for them. So by the flip side of the coin, that suggests I need to do some soul searching on me.
Tuesday, February 17, 2015
To Do Lists
There are so many things that are on my "To Do List" these days...
- Complete 1 chapter each week in my GRE study book
- Workout 3-4x/week
- Eat healthier
- Get started on that damn weight loss
- Spend more time reading literature/fiction
- Spend more time working on self reflection and growth (currently working on Mindfulness)
- Keep up with the Ladies Bible Study Book (Currently reading "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terkhurst; and yes, I'm already a week behind)
- Be better about flossing (yes; this is actually a goal)
- Work on keeping the house clean, organized, and simplified (lots of purge sessions!)
- Work on putting the cell phone away more often
- Work on being less reactionary (ie; be slower to become angry)
- GET TO THAT DANG WEDDING QUILT
- Be better at staying in touch with friends
LoL. Can you tell I'm a perfectionist and an over-achiever?
- Complete 1 chapter each week in my GRE study book
- Workout 3-4x/week
- Eat healthier
- Get started on that damn weight loss
- Spend more time reading literature/fiction
- Spend more time working on self reflection and growth (currently working on Mindfulness)
- Keep up with the Ladies Bible Study Book (Currently reading "The Best Yes" by Lysa Terkhurst; and yes, I'm already a week behind)
- Be better about flossing (yes; this is actually a goal)
- Work on keeping the house clean, organized, and simplified (lots of purge sessions!)
- Work on putting the cell phone away more often
- Work on being less reactionary (ie; be slower to become angry)
- GET TO THAT DANG WEDDING QUILT
- Be better at staying in touch with friends
LoL. Can you tell I'm a perfectionist and an over-achiever?
Saturday, February 7, 2015
Short Life Update
....Two and a half months later....
Daniel and I have settled into a quiet routine that we are enjoying... There hasn't been a whole lot of excitement in our lives but I feel like now I have enough material to compose a post with a life update...
Daniel and I have settled into a quiet routine that we are enjoying... There hasn't been a whole lot of excitement in our lives but I feel like now I have enough material to compose a post with a life update...
- We are looking forward to our first season ticket holder season of ECU Baseball! Games start next week, and our tickets will arrive on Monday. We're excited to have season tickets and friends to enjoy the games with and relaxing but entertaining evening events to attend. There is just something about baseball that we really enjoy. I certainly don't know all the rules, but it is definitely a nice quiet relaxing way to spend the lovely spring evenings after work :)
- One of my aunts has made a huge life change and as a result, we are going to inherit some very beautiful furniture to furnish a home -- whenever we get a place of our own. Of course this means that we are going to have to now figure out if our storage unit is large enough to hold our old furniture plus the new furniture, but we'll tackle that on a warmer day. We're just excited about the furniture we're getting!!!
- Daniel is continuing to make strides in his career and is continuing to aim for the position that he wants. There hasn't been any movement yet, but we are continuing to be prayerful and faithful over the situation. God has certainly instilled more hope and positivity about the situation than we have experienced yet, so I believe firmly that something good is going to happen soon.
- My career has not been looking very hopeful to change jobs to one more local. The job market for my position has been incredibly sparse and disheartening. I'm continuing the hunt, but Daniel and I have pretty much come to the decision that it is probably time for me to go back to grad school and advance my degree to open new opportunities in my career (not to mention a pay raise). So please cover me in prayers as we move forward with exploring this option... I am very nervous about it.
I told you things have been nice and quiet around here ;) It's been nice to just kind of "be" with my husband and to settle into our lives.
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