I Can't Get No... Satisfaction

I really wish that I weren't so stubborn/hard-headed.  That I could learn all my life lessons from books and scientifically proven studies.  Seriously.

I do not know why I am so hard headed and stubborn in learning my body and it's reactions to food. Why I am so stuck in the bad habits when I know that it does nothing good for my body and that it only makes me feel sick.  And even though I know this is what will happen, I continue to make these poor decisions.  I had Bojangles for dinner. And now I feel physically ill.

Lack of intention.
Lack of thought.
Laziness.

That's really what it boils down to.

I've been re-reading Made to Crave by Lysa Terkurst, and I have been thoroughly enjoying it.  This second time of reading it has provided a new lens with which to read it through, and has honestly made more sense and more of an impact on me.  Obviously not enough of an impact as I'm still making poor decisions from time to time, but the fact is that there is an impact.  Because I'm actually aware of how my body feels after I eat.  And I'm beginning to put thought and time and intention into the choices that I make (tonight's dinner excluded).

This weekend, Dad came to visit. And he looked great -- he's lost quite a bit of weight by eating better/less and exercising more. The old fashioned way worked.  And this whole weekend, it was so interesting to me to watch how he interacted with food -- he didn't clean his plate at every meal, he didn't go back for seconds, he listened to when he was hungry/full, and he chose much healthier options than I've ever seen him choose.  It was so awesome to see!!!

Dad's behavior prompted me to check my own behavior... And I realized that I'd gotten into terrible habits without even realizing -- over eating, eating all day/grazing, not listening to my body, eating too fast, and making choices without much consideration to what I actually wanted/needed.

That awareness was good.  It continues to be good.

I'm relearning satisfaction. Being satisfied with the proper serving sizes.  Being satisfied with eating at the proper times (instead of grazing constantly). Being satisfied with the better choices.

It's infuriating to know that at one time (about four years ago), I had these lessons down pat and that I'm having to re-learn them now.  But I was made for more than what I am right now. That's for sure.