Where's the Paper Bag? I'm Freaking Out, Man!

Tonight, I am having a lot of anxiety pop up and render me sleepless.  I didn't miss these days of sleeplessness due to worry.  I thought I had rectified the situation.  Clearly not completely.

In less than 6 months I'm getting married.  I am beyond thrilled to be marrying my best friend and one really spectacular guy.  And I'm kind of impatient for our wedding day to arrive.

However, tonight as I'm laying in my messy bed surrounded by my messy room with mix-matched furniture (no seriously; I'm still using milk crates for shelving) and dated everything, I am completely overwhelmed with all the changes that are going to be occurring over the next 6-12 months.

Not only am I getting married, but I'm moving to a different town and leaving my church and my friends behind, I will be commuting 1 hour to/from my job until that becomes uneconomical and I will then be searching for a new job, and I will be settling into some sort of home routine with my future husband in a small one bedroom apartment, in which he has lived alone as a bachelor for the last 5 years (can we all just point out how much growing pain will be going on here?).

Our furniture situation is dismal -- he has just as little as I do. So we'll be trying to save up for furniture.  And now he's throwing around the idea of house hunting, stating that he's hoping to move into our first home in November.  Only 2 months after we're married.

Paper bag?? I need a paper bag!

(...several deep breaths later...)

I realize that many of these things are normal for newly weds to be facing.  But I have to admit... These feel like really really huge changes to me.  And I am getting really really overwhelmed.

22 Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib[h] he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.23 The man said,“This is now bone of my bones    and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called ‘woman,’    for she was taken out of man.”24 That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh. - Genesis 2:24

 My struggle dates back to even Biblical times.  To chapter two of the entire bible.  Chapter one? God creates the world and everything in it.  Chapter two? God jumps right into talking about marriage and leaving your lives to create one life together.

I can find some solace in that.

I mean... Can you imagine dealing with this as an Israelite in slavery in Egypt?  Or even during Jesus' time, moving all of your belongings on the back of a donkey?

In comparison, I don't really have that much to be worried about. LoL!

In all honesty though...Here's what really stemmed all of this tonight... A friend of mine on Facebook updated her status tonight, about how she had purchased her brand new Ashley furniture and gotten rid of her mix-matched furniture.  (How awesome is that?! You go girl!!!)  She's also three years younger than me.  And she's living in her own apartment and just bought her some fabulous furniture.  Talk about making me feel behind...

Comparison is the thief of joy.-Theodore Roosevelt

And I let my friend steal my joy tonight. I let jealousy get in the way. I let the "timeline" and "expectations" of this world rule my heart.

2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. -Romans 12:2

Yes, Father.  Message received.