Men vs Women

With only one month to go until our wedding day, I am simultaneously less busy yet running around like a chicken without a head.  Less busy with wedding planning and more busy with preparations that are required before a wedding (like packing to move so that we can cohabitate).  And reading. Lots of reading. I'm a researcher. I like to try and be prepared and enter a situation with at least a little increased awareness.

And I can't help but comment on just how different men and women are.  I mean, really.  Us girls, we always want more time, attention, care, connection, romance, and pursuit.  We are completely and totally (or maybe it's just me) devoted and want nothing more than to be the good wife, the wife he wants/needs.  And I know that I work very hard at that.  I work hard with serving him, building him up, expressing my appreciation.

And boys?  Well they are quite a different breed.  They want space, to maintain some degree of individuality, to provide, to protect, to fix, and to fart.  They don't care that much about the touchy feely stuff.

What a disconnect! The things women need and prioritize men don't.  Perhaps this could help explain why so many people have so many relationship issues (married or not).

I remind myself over and over: "Expectation is the root of all heartache." ~Shakespere

Placing the expectation and responsibility on one person to fill every need, every want is unfair.  My future husband isn't perfect and won't be able to do EVERYTHING.  He will love me the best that he is able to, and I have to recognize that, accept that, and appreciate that.

In fact, expecting one person to do everything is kind of expecting him to be like God -- to be able to anticipate all your needs, respond, intervene, and rearrange. It's just lunacy.  Only God can do those things.

Jesus and God must be our first priority.  Husbands/Wives second.

We, as husband/wife are made to coexist, to love, to find satisfaction.  But nothing can replace the relationship with the heavenly Father.  Daniel cannot provide the grace and forgiveness that God offers.

I must remember to keep this in perspective (which I'm sure I will struggle with at times -- my own selfishness and whining and "But I want..." attitude).  That he and I are created differently, with different wants/needs, and that I can't expect anything from him outside of our vows and our faith.

This whole marriage thing -- this is going to be tough.  But I'm ready.