You know, I know that "it'll happen when it's meant to be," but it's so irritating to constantly be let down and crushed.  I made a decision to make a concession for love -- to stick around in New Bern -- basically completely for Chris, and here I am.  Dumped.  I'm still so much in shock.  I'm still so hurt.  I feel so used.  And yet I'm numb.

Not to mention I turned down the offer of part time shift leader at Bath and Body Works.  I just didn't feel like it was going to be worth it...  I'd lose my health insurance.  I wouldn't be able to teach at the Y in the evenings.  And I'd have even less flexibility in my schedule than I have now.  And after I ran the numbers, I'd only make $10 more a week. 

I can't quite believe anything in my life right now.  This isn't what I was expecting on any front.  But that's life, right?  Time for me to do some serious praying -- for healing, for guidance, for re-assurance.